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Oh, good grief. t's called the TARDIS, this thing. T-A-R-D-I-S. That's Time And Relative Dimension In Space. That’s okay. Culture shock. Happens to the best of us. No. That is not the question. That is not where we start. The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in! Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers! Or is that just me? You realise one of us is lying about our basic programming. And I think we both know which one that is.
Your wish is my command. But be careful what you wish for. When I say run, run. ...RUN! Yes, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise. New-new-Doctor. Death is always more frightening when it strikes invisibly. What do you think of the new look? I was hoping for 'minimalism', but I think I came up with 'magician'. Doctor no more. I am the Doctor! The original, you might say! The Doctor. Nosey parker. You know Jo, I sometimes think that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. People who talk about infallibility are usually on very shaky ground.
He thinks I'm a charlatan, my Dear. A knight of the GRAND ORDER OF OBERON! Only I would be stupid enough to attack such a person! And I'm looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind, I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving. You see when I started, all those years ago, I was just running. I called myself the Doctor but it was just a name. Then I went to Skaro. And I met you lot. And I understood who I was. Adric? No sir. Thirteen! I don't suppose we'll ever know if we actually succeeded. But at worst, we failed doing the right thing, as opposed to succeeding in doing the wrong.
Jelly baby? The Doctor. Nosey parker. Goodbye, Clara. 'Timey' what? 'Timey wimey'? Big scarf, bow tie, big embarrassing. It was on the planet Skaro that my old enemy the Master was finally put on trial. They say he listened calmly as his list of evil crimes was read... and sentence passed. Then he made his last and I thought somewhat curious request. He demanded that I, the Doctor, a rival Timelord, should take his remains back to our home planet, Gallifrey. Life depends on change and renewal. Timing malfunction. The Master! He's out there. I've got to stop... him...